Saturday, 26 January 2013

Update 2 - Not So BFF - Person No 2

Sorry! I sort of got side tracked with what will be update number 3/person number 3 and it's taken on a whole new life of its own. Actually it's very much changed the update I was going to give. Oh and I've still not got round to writing a post for my blogs 5th birthday and I've been given a lovely competition prize to give away as well. I really must crack on!

But for now, back to update number 2. What was the BFF, but now, isn't so much a BFF, but a great big pain in the arse. Are we all comfy? Good, then lets begin.

BFF has been my BFF (sorry for those that don't follow the lingo, a BFF stands for Best Friends Forever) well pretty much a very long time. When I lived over in Ireland she came over to visit quite a lot and when I came over here to visit we went out, did stuff together, shopping, eating drinking etc etc. You get the picture I'm sure of what BFF's do together.

When I moved back over here, living very close by to BFF, things pretty much stayed as they always had been. But then slowly I noticed a few changes here and there. And eventually I realised I was being frozen out. I've mentioned this a few times to you previously how I felt that I was being excluded for being single, or not married, or because I only have a part time child (you know, like that's my feckin fault!), or because I worked full time, wasn't part of the local ladies that lunch click or a school gate Mum. All the things to me that are irrelevant if someone is supposed to be your friend.

So, now I've noticed a lot more things, and it's really starting to bug me. For example, I literally never hear from BFF until my dear small child arrives, and then I can hardly get rid of BFF. Why? Because I then become a dumping ground for her child. BFF never organises child care, thus come the school holidays and my precious time with small child, I get her child dumped on me constantly, under the crappy excuse that they are BFF's and it's good for small child to have someone to play with (there is 5 years between them and small child is no longer quite so small a child and really shouldn't still be "playing" with little kids at her age!) The BFF excuse is bullshit and code for "I can't be arsed to organise childcare and why should I when you are mug enough to do it for free!"

Next example, I haven't been invited on a night out in, well, actually, it's been that long I can't remember. And I know the reason why!

I've noticed that a few of the local bitch click started to look down their noses at me. I was snubbed in the street, deleted on Facebook, off the Christmas card list, considering that I run a business that supplies female beauty products and lots of pretty gifts, not one of them has ever bought something from me, promoted my business in anyway (I have people I don't know half as well who fall over themselves to help promote, spread the word and shop with me). In short, I was being excluded and bitch slapped at the same time.

I pondered this for a while. It actually upset me for a while. I didn't say anything to anyone and just kept my head down, but it was eating me up. I knew I hadn't done anything to deserve it but I didn't understand why I was being treated the way I was. Then I was out one day having coffee with another friend (not connected to the local bitches) and whatever it was she asked me, I ended up telling her the whole sorry tale and how I felt about it. What a difference it made telling someone about it because she pieced it all together in about 30 seconds and put me straight as to why it was happening. I was one great big almighty threat!!!

Me! A threat! Well actually, the way it was put to me, yes I am. You see, when I lived in Ireland I knew everyones business. I was the keeper of many a dirty dark secret. I advised, helped cover things up, facilitated an affair or two (there's not mine), in short I now know enough to set a bomb off under this tiny little village and cause absolute mayhem. And certain people really don't like that one little bit.

After this was put to me I started to keep a closer eye on who was saying/doing what to see if this theory matched up to the right people. Yep. The Very Nice Friend had been right. And BFF is right at the centre of any potential explosions I could set off. I know for absolute fact that if what I know about her ever got to be public knowledge, then the local bitches would give her one hell of a public flogging. She would lose her Queen Bitch precious status for a start. The rich hubby, whose money she so enjoys throwing around and rubbing in your face, would throw her out on her arse and take back the flash car, fancy holidays and unlimited credit card spending. The fall from grace would be huge and the can of worms it would then throw wide open would also be huge. Because it would then have a chain reaction and blow apart of few other web of lies in a few other relationships.

You have to remember, this is a tiny village, everyone knows everyone, you can't keep a secret and everyone inter marries. They also all have affairs with the neighbours, friends husbands, mates sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers. It is one great big click. But if you upset the click then pack your bags and leave because you aren't welcome.

The local click obviously want me out. I can kind of figure that because I do get on with their husbands and have previously thought it OK to go out on the lads nights out when invited, they see my friendships with their husbands as a huge threat. In most cases I've known their husbands longer than they have and view them as friends. But I probably made the mistake of being quite open about The Foreign One with BFF, who has told everyone, thus giving them the perfect reason to not want me around their husbands. Perfect excuse for them as it paints me in a bad light, and they all have their hidden agendas for not wanting me about. Hence why I'm now the outcast.

It annoys me in a sense as they have done far worse then me, yet I'm the one who is in effect being bullied out of my home town. I was born and raised in this tiny little village. A lot of them are just blow ins, married well or moved here later on. When I wanted to leave Ireland, it was because I wanted to come home. This is no longer my home, and that upsets me. It shouldn't be this way but unless I grow a pair and stick up for myself then that is how it is. And because I'm in a situation of having to live with the parents at the moment, which is shit on a good day, I'm stuck in the middle of Bully Avenue and Bull Shit Drive and now really wanting to move away!

I'm fed up with having to move and wish I could just settle down. But until finances pick up or something major happens to change things then I'm stuck here.

Although just for badness, yesterday,The Foreign One suggested going for a quick drink after he finished work. This has become a regular thing, to the extent that he's now gotten brave and meets me in my little local pub (the place where everybody knows your name!). I went in yesterday and BFF was there, with the hubby and child. Her face was an absolute picture when The Foreign One then walked in and we sat at the bar having a drink, chatting away and he spoke to the girl behind the bar like he knew her (OK so he is slightly becoming a regular now). This very public appearance will have raised a number of questions and the gossip will be rife. Naturally they will make it up as they go along as none of them actually wish to engage in conversation with me and ask me what is going on.

So anyway, the actions of BFF to cover up her naughty behaviour, gathering the local bitches who also have their own hidden agendas too, is basically putting a stop on my social life, so I tend to not really go out that much anymore. Well, OK, I don't really have the money to go drinking, but it would be nice to be asked now and then, and I'm sure I could scrap together a few quid if need be.

Oh and forgot to mention, at some point in the past, BFF has done something to either stab in the back, piss off, bitch slap or just general bitch to all of the local bitches that are doing the whole snubbing of me routine. So she also has more faces than a town hall clock!

Really I should just light the fuse paper, step back and watch the fireworks go off. Why not? After all, these are all not having any guilt about the way they treat me so why should I carry on being the keeper of their dirty little secrets. And logic and life tells us that Karma will catch up with them eventually? But then again, Karma is being one hell of a slow ass bitch in my life isn't she!

Are you seeing the pattern emerge here? The Foreign One, BFF? I keep their secrets so they can have their perfect lives. I stand out on the outside, frozen out and looking in, hoping for a better life. You'll really see the pattern when I do the next update.

So prepare yourself, because update number 3 is pretty damn explosive!

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