You Don't Bring Me Flowers!

But Interflora do!

So, what delights have I been up to now then hey?

Last week I received a massive bunch of absolutely gorgeous flowers in work. Scandal! The gossip grapevine went into overdrive to say the least. And prime suspect number one. Yep you guessed it. The Foreign One. It would appear that his behaviour around me these past few months had raised quite a lot of suspicion already. Flowers, now that tipped them over the edge.

So what prompted the flowers? Well he denies he sent them but now I’ll tell you what happened in the days leading up to Flowergate and members of the jury you decide.

The last I told you he’d gone off on holiday. I knew he wouldn’t stay quiet and true to form he text me while he was away saying how sorry he was that he hadn’t told me, he’d just not known how to tell me, knew I wouldn’t be happy about it etc etc etc. He came back off holiday and contacted me straight away pretty much saying he wanted to pick up where we’d left off.

Yep, Yummy Mammy saw red!

I told him in no uncertain terms that the girlfriend had to go. NOW! And if he didn’t tell her then I would. The next few hours after that was followed by lots of begging and pleading from him not to do it. I told him that if anything he had told me was true, if he loved me like he said he did then he’d get rid of the girlfriend and stop all this. He went on about how she didn’t deserve to be hurt like this, and I agreed with him. She didn’t deserve to hear it from me. She deserved to be let down gently by him. He said he couldn’t do it to her. I told him, tough shit, should have thought about her getting hurt before you did all this.

The next day, flowergate! The day is spent by him denying he’s sent them but also still begging me not to do it. I told him he had to the end of the week to sort it out. He said that he wasn’t leaving her and that me and him was over. Fine. Stay away, well away, I told him. Never text, call, email me again, in fact, don’t so much as look at me ever again. He agreed to all of this.

Guess how long it lasted, go on, I dare you, guess? A whole 12 hours! He was away with work for a few days. So he was going away with the threat hanging over him that I was on the verge of telling the girlfriend, and that I was very damn angry. Yet still he contacted me. I ignored him at first, but after the third contact attempt I replied telling him that I hoped it was his way of telling me he was sorting things out. Yep, guess what, he hadn’t and wasn’t. Yet he continued to text me, know full well that I was fuming.

And so it continues. Now, OK, before you say it, yes I should just ignore him and he’ll get bored. But in the greater scheme of things, I’m not actually in the wrong here. Plus, and this is the bad bit, the attraction is just so damn well overwhelming. I’m not stupid or looking at things through rose coloured spectacles. It’s like we fight like cat and dog but the feelings we both have just don’t seem to go away. And, call me naïve or stupid, but I do actually believe him when he says how he feels about me. There are some things that you just can’t fake. And when someone looks at you in a certain way, they don’t need to say anything. And as much as I should hate him, think he is the biggest dickhead known to man, like ever, I just don’t. I think he’s very damn stupid and being very naïve but I don’t hate him. I don’t particularly want him to go away either.

The gossip in work is now rife. A few people have asked him outright and he’s denied it all to them, but then they come and tell me straight out what he’s said and tell me they know full well he’s lying because they’ve been suspicious for ages. I think it’s small proof that these things never stay secret for long.

So, what do I do now?

On my last post one commenter said that I should listen to my heart, listen to my head and then ignore them both and go with my gut instinct. I hate to say it but my gut instinct is telling me that I’m not wrong and he really does love me. My head tells me to run a mile, although that will be hard since I see him every day and can’t really avoid him. My heart, well that doesn’t seem to be saying anything. Perhaps I am more cold hearted than I thought. My gut says that if all these feelings are real, and when he says this has happened because he’s been unhappy and has doubts about his current relationship, that it’s true and he’s not just feeding me a line, then things will work themselves out in the end. What will be, will be.

He keeps telling me this week that he’s feeling really shit about it all and getting cold feet. I think that’s more fuelled by the work gossip because for someone that feels so shit and has cold feet, he doesn’t seem to be stopping anything or running for the door. He’s had his opportunities to stop all this. He said he would stop. I’ve told him that if he feels that shit then he needs to do something about it. Yet again, he just buries his head in the sand.

I find that I can’t make any clear decisions about how I feel about him or what I want because there are so many unanswered questions and his situation just confuses me. Surely, if you are that unhappy with someone that you would be prepared to take all these risks, then you would want out of the relationship? Well I know I would.

So readers, it’s vote time. What should I do?

1. Tell the girlfriend. He’ll definitely leave me alone then and he’ll get what he deserves when she kicks his sorry ass to the curb.

2. Let the gossip grapevine do the job for me. These things never stay secret, his behaviour at home must be all over the place by now so surely the girlfriend suspects. The gossip will work it’s way back to her soon enough and then we shall see what happens.

3. Totally freeze him out. If he wants me that much he won’t think silence is golden and realise what he needs to do.

4. Delete him. Not so much as a sideways glance. And keep it that way permanently.

5. Bang his head off the wall until some sense has been knocked into him.

6. All of the above.

7. Some other words of wisdom anyone has to offer.


But on a brighter note, small child will be here next week. Yeah!!!!!!!! A very welcome distraction from all this I think.