Dilemmas; Moral, Ethical and God Damn Karma

If you are reading me for the first time then you might want to read a few other posts before you read this one. Or just don't judge me. OK? Good. And if you are a regular, then again, don't judge. OK?

So what have I been up to then? Well small child has been and gone. Don't think I can give you the full story on here so the regulars know how to get hold of me to get it all, but in a nutshell, Batman and Wicked Witch have finally, completely and utterly fucked up (excuse the language). There is no way they are going to get out of this one and finally, so finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Finally someone else, someone who has the power to make all this mess right, has paid attention, taken their head from out of the sand and thought they might just have gotten it wrong. Watch this space for further news but suddenly I think the end might just be in sight.

However there is a dilemma to it all. If Batman won't back down then the likelihood is the law will now be on my side. But if I hammer him with the law it could end up that he will lose small child for good. That isn't really something that I want but it may be how it ends. Although I do think with what is mounting in the background and what will happen over the next few weeks he may be forced into a position of backing down or face the legal options, which aren't too good for him now. Sorry I'm being cryptic but it's very dodgy ground at the moment and I don't want to chance fate. Anyway those that are in the know will know how to contact me. And for the rest of you, keep your fingers and toes crossed that small child will be where she belongs very soon and we can put all this behind us for good.

Right, love life and HUGE dilemmas.

Yep, another new man. We'll call him The Foreign One. I've known him about 6 months. Thought he was ok, nice bloke, easy on the eye, good to get along with, but he never showed interest so I never gave him a second thought. Until about 4 weeks ago. Suddenly the general conversation changed. It became very flirty, very quickly. Within a week it had moved from chatty email, to full on flirty email, to quite explicit texts. Suddenly I saw him quite differently and quite fancied him. Then he dropped the bombshell that he's seeing someone. Game over I thought. Well no, he stepped it up even more. He wanted to meet. On our own. I did. We kissed. Sparks! It was like a lightening storm.

I backed off a bit. It's not good karma is it. His pursuit became none stop. Emails all day everyday whilst I'm at work, texts all night while I'm at home. And the odd meet up, but still just kissing. He began to mention about meeting up for a night, a whole night.

Right stop! I put the brakes on. I was beginning to question if the supposed girlfriend actually existed or when he even saw her given his endless pursuit of me. Then the penny dropped. He wasn't living with her but she was at his pretty much all the time. And was sat there at home with her every night sending me some pretty explicit texts. So I asked about the state of his relationship. Was it serious? He said he didn't know. I pointed out that it couldn't be that great given his rather large interest in me. He ummmmmmmed and ahhhhhhhhhhhed a lot.

So then I got fed up and slightly bored of the endless chasing and feeling like it was all just becoming a whole load of talk. So I gave the ultimatum. If you want me that much then ditch the bitch or take the high road. He hesitated slightly and backed off - for all of 12 hours. He said he had reservations because I could well dump him in a week or two, plus he'd never done this before and had never cheated before (and this is actually true, I've done the research). I pointed out that I wasn't exactly thrilled about it either but since it was clear we had something going on, but I was going to get bored pretty damn quick if it was all talk and we just keep going round in these circles.

Now we are at this sort of standstill point. He says he wants the shagging part to happen but is hesitant because he doesn't want to cheat. But he is a bit afraid to take the gamble of ditching the bird. I've made it absolutely clear that the shagging part won't happen while there is a bird. So he continues to sex text me instead. I had another mood of I'm not playing this game anymore and leave me alone last nighgt. He said right fine if that's what you want. It lasted till 9 this morning when he emailed me. And so the emails went on all day and the texts have gone on all night. I've pointed out the dangerous game he is playing. It only takes the girlfriend to get slightly suspicious and question him or look at his phone and the game is up. And to be honest, if I was his girlfriend, I'd be suspicious of him by now.

So the dilemma. I should just walk away. Make it clear he's to leave me alone and ignore him when he does contact me. At least while there's a girlfriend. But we have established long ago that I'm not patient so if I did that under the disguise that I'm waiting for him to come running, obviously without him knowing that, it would last all of about 2 days before I gave in and replied to him.

Clearly he isn't happy with what he's got at home, otherwise he wouldn't be chasing to the extent that he is. So do I up my game and make sure the girlfriend ends up toast? Nasty I know, but then again when was anything fair in love and war? And my friend facebook stalked her. I'm not beating my own drum, and she may be a lovely girl, but well you know, I'm not Yummy Mammy for nothing.

I've done the nice girl routine so many times before, or not said what I want or not gone after the bloke I want. Perhaps it's time I did something about it? Or perhaps karma will come back and bite me right on the arse! Personally I think that if I take my foot off the gas, back right off, ignore a little bit, not play the game when he sex texts me or drunk texts that he loves me (yep he's done that one as well) and just sit back and wait for it to happen. I think it will. He's come this far and he did say that he thought his relationship was ok until he just saw me in a different light one day and now he's very confused. Bless.

Oh and forgot to say, he has had the opportunity to move this to the shagging stage, and he didn't take it, opting for the hesitating instead. Surely if he was a real bad one then he'd have just taken the opportunity there and then?

And just to add to the mix, Toyboy loves me this week as well! It must be some god damn great pheromones I have at the moment.