Saturday Secrets

In nine days time my life is going to change forever, and at this moment in time I don't know if it's going to change for the better or the worse. It's all in the hands of another person. What this person decides is going to change everything in my life. All I know at the moment is that whatever happens I do not know what July holds for me.

This is a strange position to be in. As adults we tend to know the routine things in our lives and what that routine will be for the foreseeable future. At this moment in time I don't know what the very basics of my life will be next month. I don't know what the routine will be.

Because of this strange position that I find myself in, although I've know it was coming for some time, but I only found out a few days ago that I was to find out so soon, it's made me look at so many things in my life. I've told you often enough how much I want to change things but suddenly I look forward into the rest of my life and simply do not know what will happen anymore. There is no plan, there is no clear direction, all I can do is wait nine long days for someone else to decide what my future holds. Now although the very basis of my life is to be decided by someone else I figure that it is only me that can change anything or achieve the things in life that I want to.

So anyway, I've read a couple of blogs lately that inspired me to look a bit harder at exactly what it was that I wanted to do. Those blogs being 40 Things To Do Before I'm 40 and 40x40. BFF and I a couple of years ago made a pact that for our 40th's we would go to Las Vegas. We'd do it in style, stay in a 5 star hotel, fly business class, see all the shows, eat at the finest restaurants, gamble at a high rollers table. The one rule of the pact was that we both had to sort our lives out before then and the one who hadn't sorted their life out had to pay for the trip. So while I sit here looking into the abyss that currently is my future I've decided to compile my 40 things. *Note these may change from time to time once I've thought about it some more.

40 Things To Do Before I'm 40

Relationships

1. Love again, as in truly love

2. Find Mr Right

3. Get divorced

4. Marry again (maybe and obviously depending on how 1,2,3 go)

5. Have my dream wedding that I never got first time around (again depends on 4)

6. Have more children (naturally dependent on 1-5)

7. Have the freedom to breath within a relationship

8. Have a conversation with Batman without first having to draw battle lines

9. See my Mum at least once a week

10. Shop for groceries for my Grandmother

Work

11. Finish the current book

12. Have books 1&2 published and see them on a shelf in a book store

13. Write book 3 (I have an idea already)

14. Have Yummy Mammy made into a tv series

15. Book 2 made into a film

16. Find a writing partner for an idea I have for another project

17. Win a BAFTA

18. Go to Cannes

19. Wake up in a morning a want to go to work and not hit snooze 10 times on the alarm

20. Set up a business that I've had an idea for for ages

Social & Travel

21. Stay at that big fancy 7 star hotel in Dubai

22. Shop and actually spend money on Rodeo Drive

23. Regularly attend Broadway and West End shows

24. Take small child to Disney World

25. Go celeb spotting in a fancy LA nightclub

26. Lie on a beach in paradise

27. Climb Sydney Harbour Bridge

28. Visit India and see a Bollywood set

29. Attend the Monte Carlo Grand Prix

30. Live it up in Vegas for my 40th

Personal

31. Meet a certain member of Take That (and if he wants to snog me then so be it)

32. Live in a house that is my dream home and not just live there because it's all I can afford and ticks all the space requirement boxes

33. Own at least one pair of Christian Louboutin shoes

34. Own a 2nd home somewhere nice, and preferably foreign

35. Complete a Masters Degree (although not sure what in)

36. Learn to ballroom dance, like on Strictly Come Dancing

37. Do something amazing for charity

38. Have a cleaner

39. Be the best mother I possibly can

40. Raise small child to not make the mistake I did

I know some of them are a bit superficial, and some are a bit out there are probably harder to achieve than climbing Mount Everest but hey, I figure if I set my sights high enough then somewhere along the way I might just strike lucky and be happy with what I've got. In the meantime I'll just keep chewing my nails and wondering what I'll be doing next month.